Something Old
(Granny Smith.........you can never find her, when you want her, so I will post the story here which I included in my "book" !!!)
From - 2nd July 2005
#925. She Said Don't Touch My Nuts !!!
Never let it be said, that Granny Smith didn't care about her friends - she was from the "old school", brought up to always think of helping other people & doing good deeds. When she was young(er) if someone was poorly, she was the first one to turn up to help with the housework, cooking, washing and the kids !!! She would call bearing homemade "gifts" of preserves, sauces & pickles as well as baking, from her kitchen, plus vegetables from her garden & fruit from her trees, including a bag of Granny Smith Apples. Even if you already had an abundance of food, because to her gifts of food, were "gifts of life". Now she is getting on a bit, her doesn't venture far so people are returning the favours and helping her & giving her gifts.
One day, someone had given her a packet of chocolate coated "nuts". Muggins & I were over at her place, this particular day "doing some cleaning" for her. She said to us as she went into the kitchen to make us morning tea - "Don't touch my nuts that are on the table". If there is anything that Muggins likes better than chocolate - its "nuts" - any kind of nuts. There was a small bowl of just "plain nuts" as well as half a packet of chocolate coated nuts. Muggins, thought she wouldn't miss a "few", so he took a couple from the bowl & a couple from the packet. I said to him,"Not a good idea, Muggins" !!!. "Its okay, she won't miss a few nuts" - so he takes some more ! "Ohooooo these are nice, especially the plain ones" ! Don't you want one, Krazy Kelvin"? "No thanks, Muggins, you can eat them" !!! Shortly, Granny Smith starts laying the table with morning tea, lunch & afternoon tea !!! Well, thats what it looked like, but Granny Smith always puts on a good spread for people who take time help to help her and she knows Muggins only too well - he eats like a horse and he will eat anything !!! I know better not to touch any womans nuts, especially Granny Smiths, "nuts". Because I had sat at the same table, the day before and had a cup of tea. While I ate her home baking, she opened her packet of chocolate coated nuts. I watched her as she took one of the chocolate coated nuts out of the packet and put it in her mouth. A couple of minutes later she took the nut out of her mouth and put it in the dish, then put another chocolate coated nut in her mouth and so on ........!!! She loved the chocolate, but she couldn't eat the nuts because of her false teeth. She said, she always throws the "nuts" out.
The moral of the story is - never touch a womans nuts, especially not Grannys Smiths, if you visit her and there's a dish of plain nuts on her table !!! I haven't told Muggins, yet - I am just waiting for that "golden opportunity".............!!!
Maybe he will read this first and I won't have to tell him.
M. Kelvinnnnnnnn !!! You could of told me !!!
K. You will learn Muggins - when a lady says " don't touch my nuts" she means - "Don't Touch My Nuts"
#481. Something New
If you have been reading my other blogs, as well as Around The World In 80 Blogs you would of seen me mentioning Blogspot's Number One in the world, bar none !!! He was the man that started Blogspot/Bloggers back in 1999 before selling out to Google in 2003. After all these years, Google is revamping Bloggers with Beta-Bloggers, which started last Monday. To look at it from the outside, you can not see much change, but behind the scenes there has been quite a few changes, for the better. I have 2 blogs on "Beta".
I believe in "sharing & caring" about all my blogger friends, out there in the blog world, so in the heat of the moment I invited 2 bloggers to have a look at my Beta blogs and do a post each. I actually spoke to one of the bloggers on the phone for about 5 minutes - he lives in Australia. He said he was going to try and unload a photo on the new Beta blogs. I said just as long as he had his clothes on !!! (hehe) It was great to talk to you Peter, so your number came in handy after all. He was then going to get his sister, Merle to do a post. I haven't dared have a look yet, but you can if you want........... Something Old, Something New, Something Borrowed & Something Blue
Any complaints..........it was the two listed under Australia, in Around The World In 80 Blogs. Have a look at their blogs anyway, even if you don't have any complaints.........they are both great - the blogs that is !!!
Given time, Blogspot/Bloggers are going to move most of the blogs across to Beta-Bloggers. Give it a few weeks. I'll then link what blogs I have got left.
#482. Something Borrowed
It seems everyone loves........cats !!! This one looks like he could be a little blue after his swimming lesson.
I borrowed him from ........here !!!
A word of warning - if you don't like blood and someone cutting themselves, don't watch the video of "Impressive Magic" !!! It is a coin trick but not your normal, behind your ear coin trick. It is anything but............!!!
#483. Something Blue
I was going to upload a "blue" photo to put here, as well as a link back to where I got it from, but once I re-read the website details, I thought I had better not take a risk. So what else is blue ???
This might not be what you could call blue.........but, a hugely embarrassing typo error on a menu issued to President Robert Mugabe, lead to four senior Air Zimbabwe officials been suspended from their jobs. It seems that the menu written in Shona language should of read "Chimukuyu & Dovi" - which means dried beef meat cooked in peanut butter. However the typo error replaced the "v" of Dovi, with a "d" instead to form the word "dodi", which in the Shona language means human excrement !!! (Do you think the air was - blue ???)
#484. Currently Reading
When I was younger many moons ago, I liked reading comic books, mainly because they had a lot of coloured pictures and few words. Now that I have got old(er) my taste in reading has moved up a notch or two.........to bigger magazines which have more colourfully pictures and a few more words as well. In fact, I just happened to have the latest issue of my favourite magazine with me in my bag, which I purchased earlier today when I went to the local dairy to get a bottle of milk. It was really exciting to say the least, when I had a quick flick thru and saw some really big mama's - it made my blood pressure rise - just a little bit - just looking at them !!! And I mean big mama's !!! Talk about been colourful. They even have a website as well .......you can have a look here if you want !!! Be careful though that your blood pressure doesn't go thru the roof when you see the photos !!! I think they are all from the USA & Canada.
Footnote: What can I say, I just love.............t****s - they are the first love of my life !!! (It may be a dirty word to some people, so I am playing it safe !!!) Well, if the truth be know, they are the second love of my life now - my first love is - BLOGGING !!!
#485. I'm Feeling Lucky !!!
Talking about the first love of my life, got me thinking about the second love of my life......shopping. So I thought I would do a search to find another big mama.........the world's biggest mall !!! It has over 800 shops; 100 eating places; amusement parks and hotels. It covers 48 city blocks, in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada and is a tourist attraction in itself.
Don't spend all day there and don't spend all your money !!!
#486. Drug Testing In Schools
A 520 pupil northland high school, Otamatea in Maungaturoto, will be the first school in NZ, to introduce random drug testing of its pupils. Three students had been caught smoking marijuana and a sniffer dog had found one with marijuana, others with marijuana residue and places where the drug had been hidden. The school would test for marijuana; methamphetamine; opiates; cocaine and alcohol, with the tests in the form of urine and swab samples by a qualified person. Any pupil caught will face an immediate stand-down and will not be allowed back at school, without a clear drugs test at a medical centre.
Not eveyone agrees though - Blair Anderson, the director of Educators for Sensible Drug Policy said randomly tested students were treated as guilty before been proved innocent. "Why create a sense of mistrust in a school? Scare tactics dont work" !!!
Footnote: What is the drug policy in schools in other countries around the world. Leave a comment here or on the E.f.S.D.P website.
#487. "Show Us Your Boob's" !!!
In my "book", I mention twice about tears down Queen St - well this is boob's down Queen St, but not of my doing - someone else can tell the blame !!! It seems that the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing as far as our council goes. A permit was applied for and giving by council staff for a mid-day parade from Karangahape (K.Rd) Rd to the bottom of Queen St on Wednesday 23rd, for about 30 motorbikes and cars. It's not only the cars that will be topless, but the passengers in the cars and on the bikes will be topless as well. Now the councillors are trying to revoke the permit, because their own council staff didn't tell them about the parade which is to promote a sex-expo been held on the weekend.
I can't see what the councillors are complaining about - they would get the best view in town from the top of their building, if they had binoculars of course !!!
#488. Where In The World Is It ???
That is a b***** good question to ask, because I seem to have lost the address of the blog from where I got the photo of the geese, last week. I know I wrote it down somewhere - in fact I have to write everything down. One of the hazzards of getting old(er) I'm afraid, is memory blockages, but I always say it's better to have a blockage "upstairs" than "downstairs".
Did I just type that.........!!!
Anyway, this week rather than just give you one photo, I thought I would give you two photos, as well as a link to the blog just in case next week, I can't find it. Look beyond the fella on the bike and also at the "rolling hills" - it looks like somewhere in NZ, but.......... where in the world is it ??? Have a look thru his blog at the photos and don't forget - leave a comment !!!
#489. Down Memory Lane
Muggins of course isn't his real name - it's a nickname I gave him over time as our friendship grew. The first time I ever set eyes on Muggins (I was on my way to the local dairy) he was bending over looking thru a hole in a fence. I gave him a swift kick in the bum and "ran" on my way. (Anyone bending over looking thru a hole in a fence, can't be up to any good, can they ???) On my return from the dairy, I walked on the other side of the street - there he was, at it again. I hid in some bushes across the road from where he was and waited my moment to run across the road and.........!!!
The next day when he saw me at school, he walked up to me. Despite him been twice my size, I stood my ground !!! He said I had guts, to kick someone not once but twice and our friendship grew from there. We did a lot of krazy things together - well, if truth be known I did the krazy things and he just tagged along, never knowing where I was going to lead him.
When ever we had a fight (yes - despite been best friends, we still had fights) he would call me a f*****g krazy kid and I would call him a f*****g Mug for been friends with me. Over time, f*****g Mug became "Muggins" !!!
It's not the memories I have, it's the memories I leave behind
